2010-07-29
Dear VH1: Give This Man a Show. Hell, Give Him This Blog!
Thu, 29 Jul 2010 21:23:42 +0000
This news reported about an attempted rape in Madison County, Alabama is very serious. That is until about the 1:00 mark, when our new favorite person in American Antoine Dodson reveals himself to be the most entertaining person in the South. VH1, I know we’re technically sitting inside you right now, but listen here: Reality show. Antoine tries to find the neighborhood rapist. You could call it “Run and Tell That.” Now, to sit back and watch my Jersey Shore-like residuals start rollin’ in. (via Buzzfeed)Read more...
BWE CONTEST: Explain What, Exactly, Mischa Barton is Wearing
Thu, 29 Jul 2010 20:33:46 +0000
Mischa Barton might be Hollywood’s greatest enigma. At one time beautiful, talented, world at her fingertips and ready to shoot to the top, Mischa has fallen on hard times in recent years, becoming less beautiful, less talented, and less world at her fingertipped. Thankfully, she’s got a closet full of fashion finds to keep her face in the paper! Wait. A. Minute. What on Earth does she have covering her bathing suit areas on her body? No, legitimate question, I’ve never quite seen anything like it. You know what that means?? BWE CONTEST! A free BWE.tv Travel Mug to the person who best describes what Mischa Barton is wearing in the comments. If enough people enter, we’ll pull the best ideas together and bring them to you in their very own post. More pics ahead, and, you know, get creative!Read more...
Jon Hamm Covers Parade Magazine, Hopefully Answered Their Questions
Thu, 29 Jul 2010 20:27:53 +0000
Here’s Jon Hamm on the cover of this week’s Parade Magazine: Hopefully he didn’t refuse to talk about his spotty past, forcing the one-legged (Parade) reporter to publish a story about Hamm’s cold mysteriousness that suddenly jeopardized Mad Men’s viewership, forcing Matthew Weiner to make an emergency call to his Wall Street Journal contacts for a second interview. Nahhhh, he just took adorable pics, the usual: (Parade, via JustJared)Read more...
This Is Why Facebook Should Ban Parents
Thu, 29 Jul 2010 19:51:42 +0000
Yesterday, out of the blue, my mother wrote on my Facebook wall: Guess what I have been listening to all morning? Enya! Clearly, mother meant no ill will. But her comment implies that I seriously dig Enya, right? In fact, you might even get the impression that I’m wearing an Enya T-shirt right now or that I’m the President of the Enya Fan Club. Not the case. Not at all! So of course I demanded a retraction. To be fair, there’s no way a 69-year-old mother could have realized that listening to Enya might be considered a little embarrassing for a son whose first concert was seeing Johnny Rotten circa 1985. Of course, this slight humiliation is just one of many pieces of evidence as to why parents, especially those over 40, should not be allowed on Facebook. More evidence via myparentsjoinedfacebook.com: Exhibit 1: Exhibit 2: Exhibit 3: Exhibit 4: Exhibit 5: Exhibit 6: And to my dear mother I dedicate this beautiful blingee:Read more...
Auto-Post: Steve Carell On “Between Two Ferns”
Thu, 29 Jul 2010 19:22:53 +0000
Sometimes, the internet is really slow and I have to make up dumb captions for things because nothing funny is actually happening. Other times, Zach Galifianakis releases a new “Between Two Ferns” with Steve Carell, and can I copy and paste it and that’s my job. That was not very difficult! – Staples. Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Steve Carell from Between Two Ferns The internet’s just been full of gifts this week…Read more...
You’ve Never Seen Bon Jovi More Bon Jovial
Thu, 29 Jul 2010 17:42:20 +0000
Wonder how good the 80s were for Jon Bon Jovi? This good. Mr. Jovi’s tour manager Rich Bozzett has release never before seen pics of Bon Jovi and company living it up with a handful of topless band sluts, as part of his upcoming memoir ‘Sex, Drugs and Bon Jovi.’ And these pics? Well, they tell quite a story. Bon Jovi, the tiniest of Sex Gods, playing whack-a-mole with random groupie tits while his leopard leggings squirm with desire. And now, a game!! Take a look at these very telling, very sexual photos, replete with tastefully placed BWE.tv logos*, and tell us which one of these things is not like the other… You might also want to play this in the background while scanning, i.e. My Favorite Bon Jovi Song Ever. NSFW-ish!! A. B. C. D. Answer: Trick question!! They all feature Bon Jovi with white women. JK, it’s C. *If you’d like to see their nipples, feel free to, you know, buy the book. Photos via Splash News Online. Follow me on Twitter. Follow BWEtv on Twitter.Read more...
The Grown-Ups Is Already Better In Spanish
Thu, 29 Jul 2010 17:40:07 +0000
Here’s Chris Rock, David Spade, Kevin James and Adam Sandler in Spain for the premiere of “Ninos Grandes,” the comedy with “Hilaridad mucho de waterslidos!” Anyone wanna fly to Spain to see this? We can watch it on the plane then the better Spanish version when we get there. Also, like, see Spain and sh*t.Read more...
“Earth Sucks, Our Stomach, I Can’t Do It, I’m Scared!” – Baby Preacher
Thu, 29 Jul 2010 17:38:18 +0000
So, I don’t know if you guys remember this semi-famous web video. If you don’t remember it you should watch it for a few seconds to familiarize yourself with the material. It’s a baby preaching (speaking in baby tongues). And the church audience is very into it in a very disturbing way. What I’m about to show you now is a new and improved version of that video that includes subtitles. You are about to lose your mind. I have laughed multiple times at this video just from thinking about it while in a conference room with other people who were all like, “Are you okay?” A very special thanks to Lindsay Mound and Max Silvestri for being responsible for this video entering my lives.Read more...
VIDEO: Paul Rudd and Steve Carrell Go Highbrow in New Sockless Movie Campaign
Thu, 29 Jul 2010 16:16:24 +0000
If you’re like me, then you were probably not the most popular kid around and, therefore, a big fan of French cinema at a young age. As a result, you’ve probably seen Le Dîner De Cons (English title: The Dinner Game), the Francis Veber classic that has now been remade for American audiences as Dinner For Schmucks starring Steve Carell, Paul Rudd and a host of other well known American and foreign talents. We got our hands on a rare promo for this film featuring Hollywood’s human fine wine Rudd and Carell, looking and sounding about as sophisticated as we’ve ever seen them. Also we would 100 percent seriously hang up the painting of Carell surrounded by cats in our offices, but then again, we have severe emotional problems. VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip You can get this and more in the theaters! Movie opens tomorrow.Read more...
Yes, The Yogi Bear Trailer Looks Stupid. You Know What Else Was Stupid? Yogi Bear.
Thu, 29 Jul 2010 16:05:16 +0000
The internet is abuzz this morning with various degrees of complaint about the Yogi Bear trailer, and with good reason — it indeed looks terrible: It’s a CGI-fest starring Dan Aykroyd for some reason that’s likely to insult the intelligence of sub-one-year-olds. This seems unarguable. But rather than just blindly complain about how it’s molesting our childhood or whatever, honestly, what were people expecting from a Yogi Bear movie? Let’s discuss after the jump: Yogi Bear is a 50-year-old cartoon about a bear based on a Honeymooners character and named after a Yankee who wears a tie and steals picnic baskets and gets chased by a ranger who always ends up getting messed up. Is a dumb-looking film adaptation really murdering the source material? What did we expect, Paul Thomas Anderson hijacking the project and turning it into some dark, avant-garde meta-animation? Granted, the trailer does look exceptionally stupid, but let’s not act like if the Yogi Bear cartoon came out today, we’d actually care about it. The nostalgic outrage reminds me of when the Inspector Gadget movie came out and many 80s-kids — myself included — whined about how bad it looked and how they were ruining a cartoon we loved growing up. Obviously I still have fond memories of that show, but seriously, every single episode involved Gadget misunderstanding everything in some impossibly ignorant way, then bumbling through the case as Penny and Brain solved everything on their computer book behind the scenes (very prescient with that computer book, huh?) Sure, the movie was dumb, but it’s not like they butchered Catcher In The Rye, they just updated a thing that I was too young to think was stupid to a time when I was no longer too young to think it was stupid. We can complain about the actual Yogi Bear trailer itself, and the laziness of the CGI and the voice acting, and about this golden age of Hollywood brand-pilfering, and be completely right to do so. But c’mon people, it’s not like they’re ruining The Flintstones (already done) or Looney Tunes or The Muppets — just because it’s based on an old thing doesn’t mean that old thing wasn’t also kinda stupid. It’s a bad-looking movie, but really, this film isn’t destroying our childhoods, it’s just the product of completely standard Hollywood laziness.Read more...