2009-07-02
The 9 Least Urgent 9-1-1 Emergency Calls
Thu, 02 Jul 2009 19:24:21 +0000
You think the guy calling 9-1-1 the other day because McDonald’s didn’t give him the correct amount of change was bad? As this group of videos can attest, people using 9-1-1 for non-emergencies has been a staple of local news and internet hilarity since the beginning of time (yes, literally). Here are our favorite 9 examples [...]Read more...
Celebrate America The Way Our Forefathers Intended: Watch Evel Knievel Jump Things
Thu, 02 Jul 2009 19:07:34 +0000
This 4th of July, when you will probably be microwaving hot dogs because it’s raining too much to grill outside, why not take a few moments to honor one of our country’s greatest heroes: Evel Knievel. The man loved America so much he was willing to get on a motorcycle and jump 14 Greyhound buses [...]Read more...
Neil Patrick To Host Emmys In Rare “Actually Smart” Award Show Decision
Thu, 02 Jul 2009 18:00:00 +0000
Fresh off the heels of last year’s legendary “Five Reality Show Hosts” debacle, the Emmys are on the verge of making a bold, actually smart decision for this year’s host, a rare, looked-down-upon occurrence in the Awards Show biz also known as “Pullin’ a smartie”: Thesp Neil Patrick Harris is in the midst of cutting a [...]Read more...
Is There Anything Computer Generated Babies CAN’T Do??
Thu, 02 Jul 2009 17:01:03 +0000
You know that scene in Ghostbusters when Gozer tells the guys to choose their “destructor” and then Venkman tells them to clear their minds but Ray accidentally thinks about the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man and Gozer becomes a giant Stay Puft Marshmallow Man? [Sorry, forgot to say "Spoiler Alert" for all our readers in 1984] Well, [...]Read more...
CNN Investigates: MJ’s Bubbles In Star Chimp Retirement Home
Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:45:41 +0000
In one of the hardest-hitting pieces of investigative journalism Anderson Cooper 360 has ever produced, a reporter caught up with Bubbles the Chimp at a retirement home for retired star-apes and didn’t pull any punches with his questions — if you’ve been dying to know what Bubbles likes to eat for lunch or whether Michael [...]Read more...
This Michael Jackson Funeral Sign Crosses The Border Into Creeptown
Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:00:03 +0000
There’s already something vaguely creepy about more than a million Michael Jackson fans camping out at the Neverland Ranch hoping to get a glimpse of MJ’s body before he’s buried, but this obsessive fan sign sounds exceptionally menacing: Did the people in the tent drink some poisonous Kool-Aid so they can greet MJ as he moonwalks [...]Read more...
The Real Housewives of New Jersey: The Prequel
Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:51:03 +0000
Do you already miss the table-flipping ladies of Bravo’s The Real Housewives of New Jersey? Well, you’re in luck. Clips from a 1994 documentary titled Wildwood, NJ has just surfaced on YouTube. Not only does it nail my beloved home state, but it features some rad 90’s fashion as well. My favorite part is the girl [...]Read more...
The Cast Of Rock Of Ages Breaks Least Impressive World Record Ever
Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:23:43 +0000
Yesterday, the cast, crew, and audience of the 80’s cheese-rock Broadway musical extravaganza Rock of Ages broke the world record for ‘Largest Ensemble Air Guitar Performance.’ They miraculously SHATTERED the previous world record of 440 people by getting a mind-blowing 810 people to play air guitar along to– yes, you guessed it, Journey’s “Don’t Stop [...]Read more...
9/11 Was An Inside Job, Confirms Spencer Pratt
Thu, 02 Jul 2009 14:57:40 +0000
Don’t click on it, Dan. Don’t do it. It’s just gonna be some impossibly shameless quotes to continue fueling attention to Heidi & Spencer at all costs, and you’ll just get mad at yourself and everything in the universe. Don’t do–no, NO!!! In a Monday appearance on Alex Jones’ radio show, Infowars, the couple revealed they [...]Read more...
While You Were Celebrating Your Country’s Independence By Blowing Up A Small Part Of It
Thu, 02 Jul 2009 14:00:49 +0000
Kevin Jonas got engaged to his longtime girlfriend Danielle Deleasa yesterday. Deleasa will immediately enter the Witness Protection Program and surround herself with dozens of round-the-clock, groupie-repelling security guards. According to Forbes, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston were the top two earning actresses over the past year. The clear message: Getting f***ed by Brad Pitt is [...]Read more...